Homecoming Hero Page 16

  “That was direct.”

  “Then give me an equally direct answer.”

  Wolf shut his eyes a moment. The question should have shocked him, should have sent warning bells clanging in his head. Instead, he felt nothing but confusion, mixed with equal parts hope and fear. “I…don’t know.”

  Cora Belle shook her head at him, disappointment pulling her lips into a frown. “Don’t take too long to figure it out.” She nodded toward Hailey. “That one isn’t going to sit on the shelf for long.”

  Wolf’s breath clogged in his throat. Cora Belle spoke the truth. Hailey wouldn’t stay single for long. She was meant to have a family, with a husband who treasured her and put her first in his life.

  Wolf wanted to be that man. He wanted to be Hailey’s family. But could he give her what she deserved? Did he have what it took to make her happy?

  Did he even have the right to try?

  Wolf was silent on the walk back to Hailey’s house. She hadn’t noticed at first, probably because she’d been too busy thinking about Sara.

  Hailey was in a unique position to help her new friend. Before today, she’d looked at her charity work—especially sitting on all those boards—as a hindrance to her service for the Lord. But she now realized all those years of making contacts in the business community were invaluable.

  Hailey had the tools to help Sara. She also had her own personal experience to better help her understand the woman’s loss.

  All this time she’d been setting her sights on ministry halfway across the world, which she still firmly believed was her calling, but maybe the Lord was showing her another way to serve in the meantime. Maybe it wasn’t a matter of all or nothing, but a matter of serving in more than one capacity.

  “I understand why you took me to the Mission,” she said to Wolf as she unlocked her front door.

  He followed her inside, a frown digging a groove across his forehead. “Why’s that?”

  “You wanted to show me there are people in need right here in my own city, people I’m uniquely qualified to help.”

  He frowned. “I wasn’t trying to manipulate you.”

  “Sure you were,” she said without an ounce of resentment. “But I don’t hold it against you. I can be stubborn. The only way to tell me about the need was to show me.”

  “So you aren’t upset with me?”

  “No.” She waited for him to close the front door then slipped her hands up his arms, clasped them behind his neck. “In fact, I want to thank you.” She lifted on her toes. “Thank you, Wolf.”

  Before she connected her lips to his, he lowered his head and did the deed himself.

  She sighed against him.

  After a few moments, he lifted his head and stared intently in her eyes. “Does this mean you won’t be going to the Middle East?”

  “No.” She blew out a frustrated breath and stepped out of his embrace. “It means I’m willing to serve in Savannah and the Middle East. I can do both.”

  He didn’t argue with her, but simply stared at her. And stared. And stared. “Fair enough.”

  His words sounded so…final. Like he was saying goodbye to her. “You aren’t going to fight me on this?”

  “Hailey, when I first arrived on your doorstep, I expected to meet a teenager, a girl with one foot in adulthood and the other still in childhood. I expected my task to be easy. A quick conversation and my duty to Clay would be complete.”

  His duty to Clay. The only reason he’d sought her out. She’d thought they’d come so far from that day, that they’d managed to build a relationship that was solely theirs. But now she wasn’t so sure. More frightening still, if Wolf failed to convince her to stay home, if he stopped fighting her about the Middle East, would he walk away for good?

  “I was wrong about you on so many levels,” he continued. “You’re a beautiful, independent woman, capable of taking care of yourself.”

  Was he letting her go? “Thanks.”

  He pressed his fingertips to the bridge of his nose. “I’m not trying to insult you.” He dropped his hand and looked directly at her. “I’m trying to tell you I think you’re wonderful, beautiful, talented and gifted.”

  If he thought all those things about her, then why did he sound so grim?

  “But when it’s all said and done,” he continued, “I—”

  “Still see me as Clay’s little sister.” The realization ripped at her heart.

  “I don’t know, Hailey. I don’t know where my feelings of guilt and duty end and where my love for you begins. All I know is that I will protect you, even if that means going to the Middle East with you.”

  “Did you just say you love me?” she whispered.

  “Yes, I love you.” He practically growled the words.

  She’d never expected to hear such a sad, pitiful declaration. Not from Wolf.

  Didn’t he know he was breaking her heart?

  She had to ask him the hard question, the one they’d been dancing around for weeks. “But do you love me because I’m me or because I’m Clay’s little sister?”

  He didn’t answer her. Pushing past her, he walked into the kitchen and pulled the picture of her and Clay off the refrigerator.

  “He didn’t deserve to die,” he said in such a low voice she barely caught his words.

  “No, he didn’t.” She stared at the picture, her stomach wrenching over their mutual loss. “But he did die, and now we have to go on. Life is all about loss, Wolf. We either let it cripple us or let it make us stronger.”

  He didn’t respond, but just kept staring at the picture. “Would he approve of us being together?”

  Hailey knew the answer, knew it as sure as she knew her own name. “Haven’t you ever wondered why he told me so much about you?”

  He continued staring at the photograph. “Because we worked closely together. I was always on his mind.”

  “It was more than that.” She touched his arm, certainty filling her. “Clay wanted us to be together.”

  “No.” Wolf shook his head vigorously. “He didn’t want any man to have you, especially not a man like me, who knows nothing about family.”

  “Of course you know. I watched you at the soup kitchen today. You made those people feel comfortable and at home, like they belonged to a large, happy family. I also saw how Cora Belle treated you like her own son, and she’s only known you for two days.”

  He was silent for a long moment, his gaze still glued to the picture in his hand. “You’re embellishing the facts.”

  “I’m speaking the truth. I’ve seen you in action. You understand family better than most men I know.”

  “Even if what you say is accurate—” he turned the picture around his palm “—you know where I come from, what my childhood was like. Clay wouldn’t have wanted you with someone like me.”

  “That’s just absurd. Clay was never a judgmental jerk.” She raised her voice to make her point. “How dare you suggest otherwise.”

  He snapped his gaze in her direction and the picture dropped to the floor.

  Finally, Hailey had his complete attention. “Now you listen to me, Captain Wolfson. Your childhood never mattered to my brother. And it doesn’t matter to me.”

  He blinked at her, his shock evident in his eyes.

  Softening her expression, Hailey cupped his face tenderly. “Oh, Wolf, don’t you understand? I’m only concerned with your future, and whether or not you have room for me in it.”

  Sighing heavily, he relaxed into her palm, then reared back.

  She let her hand drop to her side, saddened by the internal struggle she saw on his face.

  “Hailey, don’t look at me like that. I can’t think with you touching me. And I need to think. It would be too easy to ignore my doubts, to go with my feelings rather than the facts, but that wouldn’t be fair to you.”

  Maybe he was right, but she was afraid to let him walk out of her home with their conversation unresolved, especially knowing that next week she’d
be leaving for Haiti.

  Trust the Lord. He’s already got this worked out. The thought came to her with such clarity she felt a huge sense of relief flow through her. If she and Wolf were meant to be together, God would make that happen.

  She also had to trust that Wolf truly loved her, for her, not out of misguided guilt or loyalty to a fallen friend. That he would ultimately see her as his family and his future.

  In the meantime, it couldn’t hurt to give him a little nudge in the right direction.

  “Wait right here. I have something for you.” She turned to go then swung back around. “Don’t leave.”

  “I won’t.”

  She ran to her room, dug the box of Clay’s e-mails out from under her bed and then rushed back into the kitchen.

  “These are the e-mails Clay sent me from Iraq.” She held out the box to Wolf. “I printed them out.”

  He raised his hands in the air, palms facing forward. “They’re private, between you and your brother.”

  “Please, Wolf, I want you to read them, especially the ones concerning you.”

  His hands dropped to his sides and a look of confusion blanketed his face. “Why?”

  “You’ll understand once you do.” She pressed her lips to his cheek. “Take your time reading them. I leave for Haiti next week. I think it’s best we don’t see each other until I get back. We can talk more then.”

  He didn’t argue, which made her think about despairing, but she didn’t give in to the emotion. She was going to trust God all the way.

  Putting on a brave face, she walked Wolf to the door. “I love you.”

  Without another word, she kissed him on the lips, gave him a shaky smile then shut the door in his face.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ten days, seven hours and twelve minutes after Hailey kicked Wolf out of her home, he paced through his town house.

  His steps were jerky and out of sync, not so much because his leg ached but because his heart ached. He shouldn’t have honored Hailey’s demand to stay away from her until after she returned from Haiti. He shouldn’t have let her leave the country with so much unsettled between them.

  What if she got hurt while she was away? What if she were kidnapped? The muscles around his heart clenched in helpless agony.

  What if she didn’t come back at all?

  Gritting his teeth, Wolf prowled into the living room and turned on the television. A twenty-four-hour weather report popped onto the screen. For the last six days, Wolf had alternated between this station and various news channels. If anything disastrous happened in Haiti, he would know as soon as it occurred.

  Unfortunately, having immediate access to vast amounts of information only made him feel more uneasy, not less.

  This was what came from caring. This dark sense of foreboding. This inability to calm down as he waited anxiously for news from the troubled region.

  Though military husbands and wives had to cope with this every day, it took a great amount of courage and love. And wasn’t that the bottom line? Wolf loved Hailey enough to suffer through these moments of fear and helplessness.

  So what was holding him back from committing his future to hers? His promise to Clay? His brutal childhood? Maybe a combination of both?

  He thought back over his last conversation with Hailey. She’d claimed she didn’t care where Wolf came from, and had scolded him for suggesting that Clay might have held his past against him.

  Wolf smiled at the memory of her fierce reaction. Hailey was quite the little warrior in her own right.

  And now, when it might be too late, Wolf realized he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Hailey O’Brien. He wanted to build a family with her, to serve beside her, to grow old with her.

  But did he deserve her? Could he make her happy?

  Perhaps the answer was in Clay’s e-mails, as Hailey had claimed. Wolf glanced over at the box she had given him. It sat on the coffee table, in the same spot he’d left it ten days ago.

  The time had come to read Clay’s words to his sister.

  With a mixture of impatience and dread, Wolf sat on his couch and placed the box on his lap.

  Keeping his emotions in check, he took a deep breath and pulled off the lid. Retrieving the large stack of papers, he tossed the box aside and read the first e-mail. Then he read the next one. And the next.

  By the fourth, grief clogged in his throat.

  Clay was all over these e-mails. His sense of humor and love of life jumped off the pages. The pain that came from remembering his friend was almost too much for Wolf, like someone had slammed a dagger in his gut and twisted.

  Releasing a hiss, he leaned his head back against the sofa. A shudder slipped down his spine. Though he didn’t want to continue, he had to keep reading. For Hailey. And maybe for his own sake, as well.

  He grabbed another page, skimmed the e-mail until he came to Clay’s suggestion for Hailey to think bigger than her current charity work.

  “There are people all over the world who need the love of Christ,” Wolf read aloud. “You could be the one to carry that hope beyond Savannah, Hailey. With your faith in God and your gift with people, you could make a difference in the Middle East. More than I can as a soldier.”

  Breathing hard, Wolf crushed the paper in his hand. Hailey hadn’t misunderstood her brother after all. Clay had encouraged her to go into ministry. In the Middle East.

  No wonder she’d been so filled with conviction.

  Wolf squeezed his eyes shut and forced his mind back to that fateful day on the Iraqi roadside.

  He would never forget his friend’s last words. “No…mission work,” Clay had said. “Not here. Not by herself.”

  Not by herself. Clay’s change of heart had been about Hailey’s safety. He’d wanted to guarantee his sister didn’t put herself into unnecessary danger.

  Wolf would never let that happen.

  If the Lord called Hailey to the Middle East, he wouldn’t stop her. He would go with her.

  But would Clay approve?

  At this point, there was only one way to find out.

  Wolf swallowed and read the next e-mail. There was a lot of nothing in this one, mainly gripes about the dry desert heat and having to fill out situation reports that were long overdue.

  Wolf chuckled. Clay had always been behind on his paperwork.

  Still smiling, Wolf returned his attention to his friend’s words. He read his name and everything in him froze.

  Wolf is the brother I never had and the best man I know. When you meet him, you’ll think so, too.

  Wolf flipped through the stack until he found another one about him. Wolf saved a child today. He jumped in front of a fast-moving car and whipped the kid into his arms. He never hesitated. He’ll make a great father. When you meet him, I know you’ll agree.

  Wolf read three more e-mails. And then another five. In all the ones where Clay mentioned his name four words showed up, as well.

  When you meet him…

  Clay had been matchmaking. Almost as if he’d known he wouldn’t get the opportunity to introduce them to each other himself. Had he sensed his imminent death?

  Wolf’s breath hitched in his throat. No matter how many of Clay’s e-mails he read, guilt still held its nasty grip on him. Would regret always rule him?

  Somehow Wolf had to find a way to surrender this to the Lord. He went in search of his Bible. Something he should have done months ago, but had been too angry at God to bother.

  After nearly an hour of searching, he found the weathered book at the bottom of a box he’d yet to unpack.

  Hands shaking, he sat back down on the sofa and flipped through the pages at random. He read aloud the first Scripture that caught his eye, one in the book of Acts. “Everyone who believes in Him receives forgiveness of sins through His name.”

  Wolf looked up to heaven. “Is it really that easy, Lord? Do I simply believe and this terrible feeling goes away?”

  If that were true, healing would h
ave already come. He turned a few pages to his left. Still in Acts, he read, “Repent then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out.”

  Believe. Repent. There had to be more to it than that.

  Wolf flipped the pages in the opposite direction, stopping in First John this time. “This is love; not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.”

  Finally, Wolf knew what he had to do to move past his guilt. He had to believe. Repent. And then receive the gift that had already been given to him.

  He lowered himself to his knees and buried his face in his hands.

  “Lord, thank You for covering my sins with Your sacrifice. Help me to receive Your forgiveness so I can forgive myself.”

  Lowering his hands, Wolf took a deep breath. A sense of peace spread through him.

  Although he knew God still had a lot of work to do in him, Wolf rose to his feet. Smiling.

  Hailey headed toward baggage claim, exhausted, filthy and emotionally wrung out. She’d rushed off the plane ahead of her fellow team members, determined to get to Wolf’s town house as quickly as possible.

  Despite this sense of urgency, there was joy in her heart, too.

  She had gone to Port-Au-Prince determined to make at least one personal connection. She’d made several.

  Her time in the Haiti slum had changed her. The people at the Savannah People’s Mission had changed her.

  Wolf had changed her.

  She had so much to tell him about her trip, about the children she’d met. And the old man who’d accepted Christ right before he’d succumbed to cancer. But first…

  Hailey just wanted to see Wolf, tell him she loved him and have him hold her in his strong arms for a while.

  She wanted to be with him, always. No more obstacles. No more uneasiness between them. Just together. They’d work out the rest of the details as they went along.

  Eager to get to him, Hailey picked up the pace but stopped in her tracks when she saw his familiar form several yards on the other side of security.

  Wolf had come to the airport to meet her.